May 2012
22 posts
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Pay attention to the women that God puts in front of you. Boaz is out and Ruth is right in front of him in the providence of God. She may not be what he had on his little check list. He wasn’t looking for a Moabite, a race who’s the product of incest, who’s a widow, not a virgin, who comes with a bitter mother-in-law and is homeless. Right, that probably wasn’t on his list, but that was...
I was laid off today. I’m not sure how I’m going to survive. God please make a way.
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Jesus. He meets us right where we are. He takes broken people, so different and yet so much more alike and shows us the scars on His hands and said it’s ok if we have scars too, because the scars are always drawing us to Him.
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I don’t have to be special or precious or beautiful to anyone but my Christ. He’s more than enough.
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The truth is I can feel evil and darkness attempting to rip apart every facet of my life and cause me to feel defeated, or doubtful and wrong. It’s very heavy and very hard, but I know I’m doing the right thing in the right place.
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I want to take my precious time with all of this.
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I often times wonder if I am a little too kind to my friends. Is there such a thing?
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When you love the people around you very much, you always run the risk of not feeling that same amount of love in return. It’s still worth it to love them.
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We do not serve when it is convenient for us. We serve and answer a need when called.
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“I will save the weak and helpless ones; I will bring together those who were...”
– Zephaniah 3: 19-20
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“When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take...”
– Mother Teresa
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The first thing I remember about the world — and I pray that it may be the last — is that I was a stranger in it. This feeling provides the only thread of consistency that I can detect in my life.
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I can’t recall any case of pain which didn’t enrich my entire life.
Comforting and loving other people makes me so happy. There is nothing in this world that makes me feel better than loving. Nothing. Nothing. nothing.
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If you’re discouraged because of God’s delay in answering your prayers, understand the delay is not a denial. Just because the answer or the miracle hasn’t come—yet—that doesn’t mean God isn’t going to answer, or that he’s forgotten you, or that he doesn’t care about you. It simply means “not yet!”
Tomorrow I start my new job as a relationship consultant at a professional dating service. My life is crazy. Everyone’s face when I tell them what I do is hilarious.
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Spiritual maturity is knowing the difference between “No” and “Not yet,” between a denial and a delay. The Bible tells us, “He who is coming will come and will not delay” (Hebrews 10:37 NIV).
April 2012
21 posts
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Bear with me. This is long….I’m a numbers person. I keep a financial diary. This book has been the source of many smart decisions and stresses in my life. I sat down today and estimated how much rebuilding my life would cost. I will admit this number troubled me. Though I was in quite a good mood today by the time I ended up at church I was basically stuck in my head running numbers,...
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Some of my friends call me foolish. They tell me I never learn my lesson. They say I need to be less trusting, less positive, less open, less accepting, less naive. “People are bad.” “People will hurt you.” “You need to be more careful who you trust.”
Well, if learning a lesson and being “wise” means looking at people and not thinking the best of...
I know that you know.
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So many of us are waiting for that perfect time or perfect calling…This is God’s perfect time. God does not wait for the world to get ready, He enters right into the mess. He doesn’t mind that I am not ready yet. He doesn’t mind that I don’t have enough money or courage or time. He doesn’t mind the sometimes wretched condition of my heart or the “stench” of my daily...
I love Grand Rapids, Michigan. Some very terrible frustrating things have happen on my journey up here, but I am still the happiest I have been in a very long time.
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I don’t want to sleep in my car anymore. This is the third night. I’ve given up on holding out in Louisiana and waiting for God to provide me with a place to live in Michigan. I can’t keep sleeping in my car, wasting my time. I have to move and get to the place where I can actively try to find a home. I’d rather sleep in my car in a place where I can do something and make...
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I can pour out because I know you fill up. I drink from a well that never runs dry. You are abundantly available to me, ever drawing me closer. You call me into communion with you and I am filled with your life over flowing even in the driest, hardest of seasons. You exchange my lack for your abundance, Christ in me the only hope of glory. Christ in me is enough. Christ with me is enough. Christ...
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Jesus, you are enough.
You were enough to atone for this ugly sin that only wants to separate. You are enough to fill in the gaps, fill all my holes, make up my lack. My flesh screams, “I can’t go on, I don’t have enough! Not enough strength, not enough patience, not enough…” And I wouldn’t, but I have You. And in You, I have enough and more than enough, Father of abundance, Giver of endless...
Today was an incredibly hard day for me. I attempted to see my parents for the first time in a very long time. Knowing I was coming back to the area, I had attempted to make several phone calls to let them know. Some ended in being hung up on. Some ended in name calling. Some ended in being told they’d call the cops if I came back. I still tried. I pulled into the driveway and my father met...
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God makes something out of my nothing every single time.
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I hallucinate connections between me and my best friends.
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After Jesus had risen, He appeared to His disciples while they were fishing. When Peter saw his beloved Savior, He excitedly jumped out of the boat and began swimming where Jesus stood. Needless to say, the boat probably reached the shore long before Peter. I am Peter. Excitedly jumping into things, and then standing, sopping wet, at the feet of the Lord, smiling at my stupidity. I get excited,...
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“We wouldn’t ask why a rose that grew from the concrete had damaged...”
– Tupac Shakur, The Rose that Grew from Concrete
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Christ knew three of his closest friends and apostles would betray him, deny him and doubt him, but He still chose to invite them to his very last dinner, love them and forgive them. I really want that to be a model for how I treat and love the people around me. Unconditional love, no matter what.
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It’s easier to have feelings for people you don’t know very well than to have feelings for your friends.
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He is teaching me to stop for ONE. It is hard and it is ugly. Every time I stop for that ONE struggling friend, that ONE hungry old man, that ONE needy person, my mind races with the statistics of how many more there are that I am not touching, not feeding, not saving. God whispers every time though that this ONE is enough. That this ONE is feeling His love and that is eternal. I see thousands of...
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I wrote a song about how much I love everyone today and it makes me cry from being overwhelmed with that love to sing it. I do not fit in with this hateful and jaded world.
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Sometimes we look out at our lives and it seems the garden is empty – plans dead as withered leaves, dreams laid waste. Could we rejoice in the season of waiting, believing that God who brought Jesus out of the black tomb and brings green shoots out of hard earth will bring new life out of all dark seasons too? Could we know that beauty is in this whole process, the waiting part too, not just the...
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I am the only person in the entire world who wants to give away the sunshine of Southern California for the cold winters of Michigan. Nothing feels more right then this. Nothing has felt more like coming home then this does.
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I am dependent. powerless. weak. drowning. and while all those adjectives should sound scary, they have me in a beautiful place: a place where I can’t go one minute without crying out to my Father or I will sink. I am grateful for this place. Paul says in his letter to the philippians that he “knows the secret”. He has been well fed and he has been starving. he has lived in...
March 2012
14 posts
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Do not forget in the darkness what you have been promised in the light.
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I have come to the realization that I am somewhat of a nomad on this earth. I am learning to be okay with that. I have many homes and no home at the same time. My heart lives in so many places and with so many people. God whispers to me that I really only have one home, and that is with Him. I will never be content here. I will always be a nomad. it was meant to be that way. My heart was created...
Today I recieved an email from West Michigan Refugee Educational and Cultural Center saying theyd like to have an interview with me once I get into town. This excited me about moving to Grand Rapids all over again. I am still waiting for God to provide a place to live but if I get this job to accompany the job I already have I’ll be too busy loving people to even worry about a home. Eeeek!
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Why > How
I had an epiphany. I’ve been caring too much about the how and not focusing on the why. For the past ten months I have been facing homelessness after being released from my current contract job. I’ve been worried to the point of two emotional breakdowns in the past month alone. As the weeks progress I become more and more worried that I won’t find a place to live. What I should...
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We find ourselves waiting for a specific moment, a specific call, something special. For what? How we spend our days… that will be our life. Today could be it. People say to me often, “You are so lucky that you found your calling, that you know your purpose in life.” This statement boggles my mind. I am so blessed to live the life that I do. But it isn’t rocket science. God...