January 2012
1 post
9 tags
Let’s get something clear, dating is indeed “discriminatory”. We are choosing and being chosen. No matter what the reason, not getting what we want can be a negative experience. Those negative feelings are made much worse by false assumptions about rejection. If those false assumptions are corrected, then the majority of negative feelings can be avoided.
When rejecting...
December 2011
1 post
7 tags
Give without needing to be thanked. As human beings we are programmed to view our actions as a transaction. I do this for you; You pay me. I do this for you; You thank me. If your actions go unnoticed or unrewarded they must have been futile or a waste of time…right?
- I didn’t hear “thank you”…or why were they thanked and I wasn’t -
I have come to a place in my life where I give freely...
November 2011
6 posts
10 tags
I’m tired of hearing my christian brothers and sisters calling themselves “wretched sinners”. You aren’t.
Part of our completeness in Christ is that there is no condemnation from God. When God looks at you He sees a righteous, sanctified, redeemed son/daughter – because you are complete in Christ! We show forth this completeness in our day-by-day living when we are...
8 tags
The reality is that loving your neighbor as yourself begins with you. You must love and value yourself if you are to love others. You have to respect yourself and acknowledge your own self-worth. You must take care of yourself so that you can love and help your neighbor.
Does this make you selfish? No. It makes you responsible.
13 tags
I have many reasons for why I should hate this world. I have many reasons for why I should hate people. I have many reasons to not believe in God or question his existence.
I have been emotionally and physically hurt by a plethora of people in my life. I have been abandoned and cut-off by my own family. I have been taken advantage of by people who I called my friends. I have been bullied. I have...
10 tags
We have the infinite capacity to recieve and an infinite capacity to love. All too often we fail to acknowledge the light that has been instilled in us. When we don’t see our gift, our true self, we become desperate to take love from others in an attempt to satisfy our needs. You and every other person on this planet are inextricably linked, we are all parts of the same body. Just as you...
11 tags
People don’t have to be perfect in order to deserve our love. They don’t have to be faultless or easy to like or get along with. That’s a good thing, because none of us are all those things all the time; none of us are perfect. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, but He does expect us to show one another love and understanding. “All the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: ‘You shall...
10 tags
Often times when we invest ourselves into something and do not see the fruit of our labor, we become disappointed. Why did we work so hard? Why did we care so much? We spent so much time and energy and so many sleepless night to be left empty handed… This situation can be very depressing until you perceive it in the view of sowing and reaping. In the first century, one man would plant the...
October 2011
1 post
11 tags
We all carry a lot of disappointment, frustration, and sadness inside. Our hearts, minds, and dreams are huge, wonderful, and incurably restless. In them, we intuit the Divine, its hugeness and its mystery. We don’t easily absorb limits, humiliations, indignities, rejections, and disappointments. We hurt and that does something to us.
When we turn away in coldness from someone or something we...
September 2011
3 posts
7 tags
When we are hurt, we naturally avoid dealing with the pain. Our bodies react to pain by sending a message to the nerve receptors to “numb out”. Eventually they adapt and we sense the pain, signaling it is time to fix the wound. We act this way emotionally too. We initially want to deny trauma or other events occur, but to grow and thrive, we need to face the pain at the right time and with the...
6 tags
Self-discipline is self-empowering. Within self-discipline we are able to do almost anything. We need to become responsible and accountable for our actions and choices and not leave that responsibility to someone else, for we are not children having to be disciplined by a parent. We should not act upon the whims of our emotions and wants, but operate on a higher logic.
Long-term, permanent change...
7 tags
As far as spiritual growth is concerned it doesn’t matter how much you read your Bible, do good works, or go to church. If you are not honest about your true feelings, you will be stunted in your spiritual growth with God and limited in your relationships.
Many Christians try to hide their emotions because we have been taught that they are bad. In reality these emotions are very important for...
August 2011
5 posts
6 tags
Many times I have heard Christians feel that being around non-Christians is an unpleasant experience. As Christ looked beyond the person’s actions and saw the problem, we are to do the same. We must have a heart of compassion toward non-Christians and see them the way Christ does. What if Christ had purposefully not kept company with non-Christians or seen their value? His practice is to be our...
8 tags
It is amazing what happens when we shift our attention from ourselves and broaden our focus so that it includes other people and we are focused on being kind and thoughtful with our words and actions. We consider how our words and actions are impacting other people and we make certain we are communicating in the most thoughtful way.
It is not that we are just a glad giver and don’t speak...
7 tags
Nobody likes to suffer but, consciously or unconsciously, we sometimes invite suffering and pain. It is one of the paradox of human nature, we profess to want happiness, but part of us holds onto suffering. Why is this the case?
This can be hard to admit, but sometimes we can have a subtle sense of attachment to our suffering. There is part of us that feels we need this experience of suffering....
6 tags
It is easy to be nice to someone who is nice to you, but what about people that have hurt you, people that you supervise or control, people that hate you, and people that are just plain bad? When you have the capacity to treat everyone with the same respect and compassion, this is the essence of human kindness.
Mercy is defined in the dictionary as “compassionate or kindly forbearance shown...
6 tags
Being compassionate means letting your actions be guided by love - not in the sense of romantic or sexual love, but in recognition and appreciation for the unique characteristics of everyone. When we are mindful that every event is unique and every person who has ever lived is irreplaceable, it is far easier to value the lives and happiness of others and to desire their misfortunes corrected.
...
6 tags
What is compassion? Simply giving something away-whether it’s your money or your time- doesn’t neccessarily mean you have compassion for someone else. Never make the mistake of equating generosity with compassion. If anything, a generous spirit flows from your compassion, not the other way around. True compassion means that you see other people the way God sees them. It means looking...
July 2011
3 posts
7 tags
It’s true that when hardship strikes, doubt begins to surface in our minds. We become uncertain about the reality of the Creator. We question the justice in the universe. We fear for the future. We point the finger of blame at others, or towards the heavens. But when we invoke the power of certainity, all these negative sensations fade away like fog surrounding a steadfast mountain.
In...
6 tags
Giving up everything and putting your faith in God. It’s something that we hear many many times in our daily Christian lives. We remember it when we give up a habit or when we fast from candy. We remember it when we lose something or when persecution happens. We remember it we are unsure about our future.
Though these days you hardly hear of people physically leaving everything behind, shy...
June 2011
8 posts
6 tags
Do you ever feel let down by the people whom you befriended? Are you frequently disappointed by circumstances in which you gave so much of yourself? If you answered “yes” to the preceding questions, chances are your positive actions were contingent on your recieving some form of benefit down the road.
We frequently befriend others or perform favors with a hidden agenda. The friendship...
5 tags
It’s difficult to be lovingly truthful with others. When an opportunity arises to confront someone with the truth, we lock up; our hearts race and our adrenaline pumps at the mere thought of speaking our mind.
Fear of speaking or hearing the truth is the biggest stumbling block that we face in our desire to experience genuinely fulfilling, honest, and loving relationships. When we hold...
8 tags
We are so often the cause of our own misery. We pursue things and people even though we know in our heart that they cannot make us happy. We imagine that all our problems will be solves if we get a particular job or achieve a certain success-only to find that the things we desired so intensly are not so winderful after all. Much of our suffering comes from a thwarted sense of self.
When we love...
6 tags
Revealing our negative side attracts the evil eye. We become a magnet for the scorn of people around us. We invite their judgement into our lives- and all that destructive energy quickly begins to wreak havoc. There is remedy for these little peeks at our human side…
When we give people a reason to focus on our good side, we avoid their negative thought and influences. We also avoid the...
6 tags
Being alone can feel awkward. It’s easy to equate aloneness with loneliness. I have seen people who never seem to stop moving and “doing,” and I ask myself if they are afraid to stop and face themselves, their lives, their fears, their emotions? Distractions keep the days moving. But is this living the abundant life God meant for us?
I have come to believe that it’s a powerful thing to be able to...
4 tags
Beauty is ultimately not its own subject. Rather, something is beautiful because it points to something else. I chose to believe that if anyone sees beauty in me it is because of Who that beauty is pointing to. I admit I am not a perfect by any means. I have my moments where I can be a hard person to share space with. Yet, I am still able to be a vessel for a beauty that’s so much larger...
1 tag
4 tags
Make your self-seeking the measure of your self-giving. , “Love your neighbor as yourself,” the word “as” is very radical: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” That’s a BIG word: “As!” It means: If you are energetic in pursing your own happiness, be energetic in pursuing the happiness of your neighbor. If you are creative in pursuing your own...
May 2011
4 posts
4 tags
How can we speak of “Love your neighbor as yourself” when most of us truly do not love ourselves? How do you feel about yourself? Is it good or bad? Self-worth differs from self-esteem. Self-worth is what you are born with. As one of the creations of the universe you are worthwhile and have value, which cannot be taken from you. You can’t lose it, but you can lose sight of it. You can...
6 tags
We need to love the poor by loving the rich. Perhaps this sounds sanctimonious, or overly simplistic. I do not want to suggest that this kind of love assumes a weak posture, as if accepting everything that happens in our world without opposing anything. Love does not mean the absence of conflict; or the closing of our eyes/mind to sin, injustice, and mistreatment. Jesus cautioned against the...
4 tags
Many singles make the mistake of putting their lives on hold until they marry and “get a real life.” This idea is detrimental to unmarried Christians and the Church. If every single dedicated himself or herself to the Lord, lived life fully, recognized their extraordinary value, and used all of their talents and opportunities to serve, there would be almost no need left in churches and...
Beware the path of least resistance. The path of most resistance is the quickest to love. It’s important to realize resisting your reactive nature is not the same as repressing your desires. Repression is a dead end street. It results in long term physical and emotional stress. When you stuff down your desires and pretend they dont exist, they inevitably appear somewhere else in a different ...
April 2011
3 posts
4 tags
We’ve been duped into believing that our actions toward others have no impact upon the world at large. Wrong! Not only do interactions between two people contribute to the state of the world, each interaction totally and completely transforms the world! But it’s difficult to detect this global makeover because everyone else’s actions are also transforming the planet at...
2 tags
Having one great night, like tonight with friends, can keep me going through these long barren Louisiana months.
5 tags
The opponent is the voice that encourages you to withhold your love from others when you feel hurt, abandoned, and unloved. It is the voice that taunts, “You are not good enough to pursue a relationship with this person. He/She will surely discover all of your faults and run the other way”. It is the voice that tells you that you are better off alone and not worthy of love- not from...
March 2011
1 post
1 tag
Why?
February 2011
4 posts
973
I am just a small shy girl from a rural town in Northern New Jersey. I was raised picking wild berries, splashing in brooks and carving out trails in the mountain behind my house. I never learned how to make friends or socialize. I only learned how to play instruments and work the cash register at a family friend’s bait and tackle shop.
Before my parents moved me away to Florida, they gave...
I’ve never felt appreciated.
I work 50 hours a week.
I love my friends ardently.
But at the end of the day, I lay in my bed and feel like it was never seen.
Tis the season
Somewhere in our brains, society has created this belief that being alone is ‘wrong.’ When we think of spending time alone, especially holidays, our automatic societal thoughts jump into our brains and scream out to be heard. “only losers are alone.” “You are so unpopular.” “No one loves you.” All of these phrases that can be rooted in our...
January 2011
1 post
December 2010
2 posts
“If the world hates you, know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you...”
– John 15:18-19
The debt of love.
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. - Mother Teresa
I am not one to live by quotes, but this quote is by far something that inspired action in me. I’m not talking about the kind of action like ordering some “charity” merch or giving a homeless person...