We are so often the cause of our own misery. We pursue things and people even though we know in our heart that they cannot make us happy. We imagine that all our problems will be solves if we get a particular job or achieve a certain success-only to find that the things we desired so intensly are not so winderful after all. Much of our suffering comes from a thwarted sense of self. 

When we love people, we may become possessive and unreasonably angry if they dclare independence of us. We identify so closely with our opinions that we become disproportionately upset if we lose an argument. The result of all of this self-preoccupation is that we not only make ourselves suffer, but we cause pain to others as well.

Instead of reviling ourselves for our chronic pettiness and selfishness, it is better to remember calmly the fact that the cause of this behavior is our “flesh”. Simply take a depth breath, recognize the flaw, remember that in Christ we are new creations. Recognize that nothing truly belongs to you and that all your wholeness is found solely in Christ.